What is a meltdown? IN BRIEF
A meltdown happens when an autistic person loses control. It's often because they've taken in too much sensory information or experienced too many emotions without being able to rest or get away. That's why it's so important to respect autistic people's limits. This loss of control can sometimes look like a panic attack, anger, or unusual behavior such as strange movements. The autistic person can't just stop the meltdown, and telling them to calm down or try harder won't help. Don't touch or force the person to do anything. It's best to keep a crowd from gathering around them so they can calm down. If they understand what's happening and there's a way to help them get some space, you can offer to go with them to a quieter place.
Why Do Autistic People Have Meltdowns?
Sensory overload happens when there’s too much information, too many sensory and emotional stimuli, for the brain to keep up with. Autistic people can be especially vulnerable to this experience. If rest isn’t possible in the short term, the person’s behavior can change, leading to a burst of emotions and sensations that can show up as a meltdown or a shutdown.
Internal Sensations Before and During a Meltdown
Just before and during a meltdown or shutdown, an autistic person may notice different sensations linked to sensory or emotional overload. Their vision may blur, they may feel hot or sweaty, or notice their cheeks flushing. They may feel sensations in their stomach, like burning or tingling. They might even feel a burning sensation on the skin of their chest and back, or feel as though their muscles are getting stronger or weaker. Not everyone feels all of this during a meltdown or shutdown, but these sensations are early warning signs.
The Meltdown Itself
A meltdown is what happens when the effects of that overload come out. An autistic person having a meltdown will feel like they’ve lost control of their own behavior. It’s as if all the pressure built up from trying to act “normal” suddenly has to be released. This can show up as crying and screaming. Someone having a meltdown may act aggressively toward themselves or objects, or hit surfaces like walls or the floor. However, they have no intention of being violent. An autistic person in a meltdown may also move quickly and erratically, or rock their body forcefully. A meltdown can sometimes start with a physical collapse, meaning the person may drop to the ground.
How to Respond to an Autistic Meltdown
During a meltdown, it’s pointless, and even harmful, to shout at the autistic person to stop “the crisis.” If they were able to stop, they already would have. In fact, shouting or speaking with authority can add stimulation that makes the crisis worse, especially if the person acting with authority is a stranger.
Scenario
A rescuer speaks with authority to an autistic child having a meltdown. Since the child doesn't know him, this raises the intensity of the crisis and could even put the child in danger, since they might be tempted to run.
That said, as a witness to a meltdown, there are things you can do to help the autistic person regain control of their behavior. If communication is possible with someone having a meltdown, simply letting them know you’re listening can help. The person may give you valuable clues about what’s triggering the crisis, such as noise in the environment, repeated requests for social interaction, or a change in routine. By listening closely, you may find the cause. From there, you may be able to resolve the situation. If the problem can’t be fixed, simply acknowledging that the overload is real can be reassuring. That said, too many social demands can cause the autistic person to panic, so it’s best to stick to one or two simple questions. If the person having a meltdown doesn’t respond, don’t take it personally. They may not be able to communicate right now.
I had a meltdown on a wooden bridge that scared me during a trail race in the forest. The guide asked two questions: Are you hurt? Did you fall? Even though I couldn't speak anymore, I managed to shake my head no. That's how he knew it was better to wait safely and give me space. After a while, I managed to keep walking, but not to talk. I kept crying, but I wasn't in danger or left alone on the bridge.
Important
Even once the triggering situation is resolved, the person will remain in a state of meltdown, because they've just used up their mental and physical resources. Those can't be restored with a snap of the fingers. That said, addressing the last thing that tipped the person into crisis can stop things from getting worse. That's often the first step toward calming down.
When a meltdown happens in public
Having a meltdown is exhausting enough on its own. When a meltdown happens in public, the autistic person may experience it as humiliating. It’s best to avoid gathering around someone having a meltdown. This isn’t a spectacle. Depending on how intense the crisis is, one or two people can help by offering a calm, safe space. Some autistic people will prefer to go through their meltdown alone. Others will want company. Some will want to avoid all physical contact. Others may ask for hugs or want an animal nearby. Everyone is different.
Important
Sometimes, an autistic person having a meltdown won't be able to communicate in their usual way (e.g., speaking, sign language, echolalia, or a speech-generating device). This doesn't mean they're unable to understand what others are saying to them. That's why it's important not to talk about the autistic person as if they weren't there. Being ignored is hurtful.
Dangerous Situations
Most of the time, even though autistic meltdowns can look dramatic to onlookers, they aren’t dangerous. Crying, screaming, or physical sensations don’t put anyone at risk. These are the most common behaviors. That said, meltdowns can sometimes put the autistic person or others in danger. This is never the autistic person’s intention. Fortunately, the risks can be reduced.
Dangerous Stims
Stims, or self-stimulatory behaviors, are essential for helping autistic people calm themselves down. During a meltdown, some stims can put the autistic person at risk. For example, they might hit their head against a wall or hit their own head. It’s not recommended to physically restrain someone’s movements. Doing so puts both the autistic person and the person intervening at risk of injury. You can offer soft surfaces (like a pillow) so the movements don’t cause harm.
Bumping Into Objects and People
During a meltdown, an autistic person may move quickly and forcefully. This creates a real possibility that they could hurt themselves or someone else. As much as possible, try to create a safe space. You can suggest the person go to a room with enough space, make sure others aren’t trying to physically intervene, and move objects out of the way. Never lock the person in a small room, especially if they’re a child. This can be traumatic and make it harder to earn their trust in the future. It also won’t shorten the crisis or reduce the risk of injury. Toward the end of a meltdown, or right after, autistic people will often choose on their own to rest alone in a room, once they trust their surroundings and the people around them.
What to Do If Your Meltdowns Become Dangerous
Even though meltdowns come from an accumulation of stress, that doesn’t excuse every behavior. Hitting others or shouting insults will have negative consequences for you. No one deserves to be hit or insulted. So if violent behavior is mixing into your meltdowns, it’s important to seek help. Support from a psychologist, psychoeducator, social worker, or support group can help you put strategies in place for when this happens. Violence isn’t part of a meltdown.
Life After a Meltdown
There’s no shame in having meltdowns. It’s simply a sign that the autistic person has spent too long compensating in an environment that wasn’t suited to them. It’s true that after a meltdown, an autistic person may feel all kinds of negative emotions that affect their self-esteem. Even so, meltdowns can be seen as learning opportunities. A meltdown tells us that a limit has been crossed, and knowing your limits is an essential part of taking care of yourself.
After a meltdown, an autistic person will probably feel exhausted. This is the time to make sure they have access to the calm and the routine their body was asking for. They might want to sleep, or do a soothing activity connected to a focused or passionate interest, or use a calming stim. Either way, this is a good strategy for letting the body and mind recover.
