Social interactions

Social interactions for an autistic person
IN BRIEF

Social relationships can be challenging for autistic people. They often struggle to understand others' emotions and even their own. Meeting new people, adapting to changes, or choosing the right topics of conversation can be complicated. All of this makes social interactions stressful at times. Some autistic people prefer to be alone, while others wish to have friends but face obstacles that make this difficult. Each autistic person is different: some have fulfilling friendships, though often fewer in number. Generally, they prefer discussing concrete topics rather than engaging in more social conversations.

Social interactions

Every autistic person is unique. The characteristics of autism and their impact vary from one individual to another. Some people may experience significant difficulties with social interactions, while others manage them relatively well. With appropriate support and guidance, many autistic people can improve their social skills and interact more effectively with others.

Autism changes how a person connects and interacts with others. It already presents challenges in communication, which adds an extra layer of difficulty to social exchanges. On top of this, autistic individuals often have specific traits they need to navigate.

Autistic people may struggle to understand and respond to various factors:

They also often find key aspects of social interactions challenging, such as:

These challenges can make it difficult for autistic people to connect with others, and social interactions can become frustrating both for them and for those interacting with them.

Special interests

Autistic people often have very intense interests or obsessions that may not easily engage others. They can find it difficult to show interest in or discuss their conversation partner’s hobbies and activities.

Developing and maintaining relationships

Maintaining relationships can be a significant challenge for autistic people.

Friendships

Autistic people often have fewer friends and spend less time with them. Their friendships are frequently with individuals older than themselves. Some aspects of relationships may feel unnatural, be misunderstood, or require too much effort to adapt, leading to social awkwardness.

Changes and routines

Difficulties adapting to changes in routine or new social situations can make participating in social activities harder, particularly if they are impromptu. This can become a major barrier to sustaining long-term relationships.

Participation in conversations

Autistic people typically prefer discussions focused on facts or their specific interests. Topics related to friendship, personal growth, or social aspects can feel uncomfortable or uninteresting, adding another layer of difficulty to reciprocal communication.

In group conversations, autistic people may not realize when someone is addressing them or expecting a response. This can be mistaken for disinterest, though it is not necessarily the case.

It can also be hard for them to identify which pieces of information are most relevant in a conversation. As a result, they may share too little or too much about a topic.

Meeting expectations

Social interactions often involve interpreting others’ unspoken expectations. Since these are rarely communicated clearly, autistic people often miss important cues. When their response doesn’t align with others’ expectations, frustration may arise, and others may disengage from developing the relationship further.

Important

It’s essential to communicate clearly with an autistic person. While it’s normal for a non-autistic person not to instinctively be very precise, when a misunderstanding occurs, it’s important to increase clarity to avoid confusion.

Scenario

Jules is tired and worried about falling asleep at the wheel. He wants to stay at Carl’s house to avoid putting himself in danger.

Jules mentions feeling tired and afraid of driving. Carl suggests playing upbeat music and drinking coffee. Jules insists, explaining that doing so will keep him awake all night. Carl replies that his life and the lives of others are more important than a good night’s sleep. Jules feels let down and believes Carl is abandoning him. However, Carl never received the actual information.

If Jules had been specific and told Carl he wanted to sleep at his house, Carl would have understood.

Even so, because this was unexpected, Carl’s reaction might still have been inadequate. In this case, it would have been necessary to give Carl time to process the information without pressuring him.

Play

Autistic children often naturally gravitate toward sorting, lining up, and organizing toys rather than using them to imitate everyday life scenes. Due to their inflexibility in play, most children will avoid playing with them.

When an autistic person masters the rules of a game (like a board game or team sport), they may show great rigidity about them. In a playful context, this precision can be seen as disruptive to the group’s enjoyment and even lead to conflicts. However, this rigidity often reflects a need for security: ambiguity or rule-breaking can create significant anxiety for the autistic person.

 

Valérie Jessica Laporte

WRITER SPECIALIZING IN AUTISM (FRENCH)